The Changing Patterns Of Family Life: a blessing or curse ?
Old-fashioned” and “conservative” …these are the labels given for people who raise concerns about collapsing family systems in our society. As families break down in divorce, single-parent homes are alarmingly increasing. People are just parting away for reasons that could have been resolved with an apology, by owning up the mistake, with a commitment to change, with the love for the family, with a little sense of sacrifice, by defeating the arrogance, and most of all, by thinking of the future of the children and prepare them for the life of the hereafter. Problems can be solved without breaking the bond when handled gently, compassionately, and courageously.
It does not mean you should stay and suffer in an abusive relationship. No one deserves a difficult relationship. But simple things should not ruin a family. Because marriage is not a perfect relationship. There are ups and downs, but after a storm comes a calm.
When a marriage fails, a man or woman can walk away and find a new relationship and move on. But think of the children who are stuck in between… Growing up with a non-biological parent, a child may lose stability in life and suffer adverse outcomes such as social, emotional and psychological developments. The risks do not end there. It is significantly important for a child to be nurtured by both parents with kindness, attention, and reassurance. A safe brain develops in such a nurturing environment. A quality parental relationship can have a big impact on a child’s social skill, behaviours, and achievements in life. When a family is dysfunctional, some children become violent, disruptive, and angry. Lose focus in their life as there is no strong leadership in the family; No father figure to look up and find security. Some become addicted to drugs. This list can go longer than this…
In a fast paced world, we are running after materialistic gains. We forget the purpose of our lives. We ignore our duties and responsibilities towards our family and towards our creator as well. It is time to pause and reexamine our lives. Marriage is considered a holy bond in Islam, and you get rewarded for fulfilling your duties towards your spouses and children.
The Quran beautifully describes the marital relationship as “They are your garments, and you are their garments.” (2:187) Moreover, Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) has mentioned marriage is of his traditions and completing it is equals to half of one’s faith.
As Muslims, faith is ruling our life no matter where we live, east or west. May we commit to a life prescribed by the Quran and lived by our beloved prophet (peace be upon him) that will take us to our final destination – heaven. May we leave responsible and pious children behind who would pray for us and take us to Jannah. Aameen.
Shaykh Muhammad Shaffiee Imaam and Registered Health Professional. Muslim Cultural Consultant. Member/SWRB, and UCNZ.